Journals

I wrote in my journal today. It was kind of neglected. I realized that this blog is also kind of neglected. Still, I haven't written in my journal for about 3 years.

Have you noticed how a lot of blogs these days are becoming journals? I have a few friends who use their blogs as personal journals. I guess I can kind of understand but not fully.

I recently read through my journal. I actually have 2 but the one I read is the one I have been keeping as an adult the other was a class assignment in 3rd grade that I occasionally took time to write in until I was about 16. My adult journal starts about January of 2000 leaving about a 4 year gap in my personal recorded life history, who cares?

I wrote my journal expecting one day that nobody would ever care to read it. I did that because I was taught in my youth that journals should be kept for our posterity. Once I seriously considered this I realized it was retarded to think that anything personal to me would ever be as valuable to someone else as it is to me. So I wrote to myself and was able to open myself up to write pretty much as freely as I could. Honestly I still think that reading my journal for anyone else would be tedious and boring because of all the stuff that got left out.

Anyway, I learned a lot about myself. I learned that when I was single I wasted an awfully lot of time thinking about a couple of girls that I thought I would always be in love with. If either of them read this I am sure you know who you are and I hope this doesn't embarrass you. On second thought, if it does that would be weird. This should embarrass me and yet it doesn't. I guess it's because I grew up. In fact I would say the act of reading the journal helped me grow up just a little bit more.

One of the recurring themes from my journals is that I wanted to be a writer. I seriously thought at the time that I was a great writer. I know now that I wasn't very good at all. To be honest I am not sure that I am a good writer now. If you read the first entry in this blog you will see that I created this as a way to practice writing. The thing I left out is that I am writing this as though there were people who actually read this blog, though I know there are only a few. I write as though I have an audience.

In contrast to this there are many blogs out there that are publicly available that are written by someone as though they are writing to themselves. That seems odd to me. Doesn't it make more sense to keep really personal things on a pad of paper in your night stand next to your bed? I think it does.

I guess where I see the largest problem is in the potential pain and upset it may cause. For example: let's say you write something very personal on your blog, one of your friends reads it, then in conversation they comment on it in a casual manner or a dismissive manner later. It could hurt your feelings. The thing is that you placed that personal information out there for someone to read without thinking about whether or not it should be publicly available or if it should be just for you.

Okay, so maybe that scenario isn't too likely. Really it is just a point, though small, that I want to make. After all, this is my blog and I can make any point I want, valid or not, because I have comments on so you can disagree. That's fair.

Movies

I wish I made movies. Movies have a power that I envy. The power to emotionally move someone. The power to entertain. The power to excite. The power to involve. By many film is considered to be a lesser art form. Books are better. Painting is better. Stage is better. The thing is that film is better. Let me explain.

Sometimes movies leave me in awe. Just now I finished a documentary called Step Into Liquid. You might have heard of it. It's a film about surfing through the eyes of a surfer. The film opens with some of the most amazing shots of the ocean I've ever seen in my life. I thought at the beginning, why are you opening with this? I guess I figured they should save their best shots for the end. They did.

I suppose it isn't the camera that left me in awe though. There were other things. Story elements that involved real people. There was the story of the surfer who was paralyzed but continues to surf, lying down. There was the trip to Easter Island. There was the... well, I won't recap the entire thing. I'll just say that there were things that wrapped me up in the lives of people in the film.

Getting back to the point, this movie moved me in ways that very few things have before, outside of my own life.

Other things that move me include music, architecture, geology, painting, literature, etc. And by move I mean pass on to me a feeling of wonderment, awe, involvement, knowledge, ideas or some other value. It's just that film is better at it that most of these things alone.

A lot of my friends, and by friends I mean the handful of people who may ever read this, know that I love movies. There is an even smaller group of people who participate in this with me. Oddly, these 4 or 5 people are the few friends that most of my friends don't know. Among us we have this idea. I'm not certain where we got it but it's something we keep repeating to each other. It's almost a mantra now. "Film is the greatest medium the world has ever seen." There are a couple other variations on this idea but the point is clear.

The simple fact is that film combines visual, musical and performing art together in a very unique and involving way. Now many may argue that theatre is superior in every way in all three areas. I would never agree but the argument may be made. The thing is that theatre is really just the precursor to film. Film allows for things that theatre cannot accomplish.

Just to illustrate I would point at The Matrix. Imagine if you saw that for the first time on a stage. Use all the same actors but do it on stage. What would it look like? Sure you could get across all the elements of the story. You could deliver all the dialog. How about bullets? How about bullet time? Someone would have to rig some very complicated devices to accomplish much of the special effects. And when you think about it, without some of the effects The Matrix just isn't the same movie. Without them it become harder to believe they are inside a virtual world that can be manipulated by its creators. In a sense the effects are part of the story.

Now, not every movie released is amazing. But the same can be said about almost every art form. Not every photograph you take is amazing. I believe most people are surprised when they take a picture that looks amazing. I know I am.

Still, every once in a while I watch a movie that makes me feel something. It's in those moments that I realize why I want to make movies. It's in those moments that I understand why I sacrifice so much for such a small chance at telling my stories in the medium. I never know before I watch a movie whether or not I'll come out of it with such an experience.

Earlier this year I wrote about I Love You Man. I went in that movie mostly because I was bored and thought I needed something funny. As it turns out it was more than just a funny story. In fact it was much more. As the summer arrived I was excited about all the big shows coming out. I couldn't wait to see Star Trek and Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. I went to see them and I enjoyed them. The excitement is gone and all I can think about is how much I want to see I Love You Man again. Because of the experience I had with it I think it is the best movie of the year.

Movies are subjective of course. Often I think the reason certain movies hit me the way they do is because of what I am going through in my own life at the time. Having moved to California in the last year I have been thinking a lot about how much less time I get to spend with the handful of people I consider to be my closest friends. That effected my feelings in the theater. When I was younger I had an amazing experience watching The Sixth Sense. I believe now it was due in large part to my feelings that sometimes I stood alone in who I was. I related to the boy very well. I saw it twice in theaters and enjoyed it just as much the second time.

I'm of course not trying to invalidate other forms of art by writing this. In the end I just want to acknowledge the power a simple movie can have in our lives.

Pandora

It's hard for me to believe I haven't written anything here for over a month. Although I have had a few ideas for posting I haven't really felt that many of the topics were worth the time.

One thing I realized that I haven't written about yet is Pandora. This is surprising since almost any time I write anything at all some music is playing somewhere. So if you want to listen to some of my tunes while you read this you can go here. Feel free to leave comments on my stations or whatever. If you happen to like the service, sign up, create your own stations and let me know so I can listen in from time to time.

Now chances are you already know about Pandora. But for those who don't I'll explain why Pandora is the best radio in radio.

First of all, Pandora is based on a larger project to categorize songs and albums based not on some silly genre the publishers announce. It based on how things sound. Which once you think about it a little make it seem overwhelming in scope. Basically they have listeners rate songs based on something like 360 areas to create sound profiles. Then they place songs and albums in those profiles. In it mind numbing once you realize that these songs have to have listeners because a computer cannot listen to music yet, and probably won't be able to for some time.

How this benefits the users? Easy, you create an account and create stations around artists or songs you like. Then, as time passes you get to hear songs that fall into a similar sound to that song or artist. You then rate them with a thumbs up or down. Up means you like the song and want it added to your station. Down means don't play this song again - ever. It's sounds kind of meat fisted at first. But wait there is more. If you like the song but think it doesn't really belong on the same station then you have the option of creating a new station based on that sound/song. Or if you are only annoyed that the song is overplayed you can tell Pandora to stop playing it for a month.

There is more still. When I started I used Less Than Jake to create a station. After a few weeks I felt like the station needed more than just skate punk/ska. I added some heavier bands like AFI and Rancid. Then I began to hear all sorts of hard core punk. Some of which I really didn't care for. A few thumbs down took care of most of what I didn't want pretty quick. Then the service started suggesting new songs. It started playing Offspring, Foo Fighters and Nirvana occasionally. I liked it and gave enough thumbs up that now I get a good mix. If you really want to hear what a year and a half of whittling my station sounds like feel free to listen. I now call that station Lars Main Stage. It may not suit you but I listen to it a lot. It's my favorite radio station of all time.

That there is the secret isn't it. Pandora puts the power of radio in YOUR hands. You don't have to like the stuff they play on any station on the air. You can make your own. With enough time and attention you can veto songs you don't want to hear and approve songs you do. You can mix sounds on one station or make many. Right now I have one station that plays my version of rock, another one for some Neil Diamond and Paul Simon, another one for Genesis because I felt it didn't fit the sound of Paul and Neil, and another one that is pretty well just for the occasional Taylor Swift song.

Now I am sure there is a lot that could be said about Pandora. But I think we should just let the music talk for itself.